We are about to repeat a journey we took 13 years ago. After I graduated
from the University of Kansas in 2000 Joel and I loaded my little red
Geo Storm with all my worldly possessions (minus those still in my
parent's attic) and moved to Utah. He was a student at BYU and I thought
I might possibly say yes if he asked me to marry him. But I figured we
should probably live in the same city before then just to be sure it
would work out. It is funny that our long distance courtship continued
as a long distance marriage. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right?
(KU graduation May 2000)
(Our engagement photo August 2000)
But here we are again. Moving to Utah in the hopes
of spending more time together. Only this time we are praying all of
our belongings will fit in a 26 foot moving truck and a well-loved
minivan. Oh and we have four adorable Littles tagging along for the
ride. A recent conversation went like this:
Me, "If we have to throw things out that don't fit in the moving truck, it needs to be equal between my stuff and yours."
Joel, "Everything I have I need for work".
Me, "Really? How about all those books?"
Joel, "You're talking about books?! How about that big tub of journals?"
Like I am going to throw out all that evidence?!?
The first time I moved to Lawrence, as an 18 year old, I cried for half the flight from Anchorage. It was very traumatic leaving all my friends and family. I hadn't ever lived anywhere but there. My parents weren't kicking me out or anything, I left voluntarily, even happily to join the soccer team at KU, I mean get a college education. But change is hard. After 4 years I left with an education, having met wonderful people who would become life long friends, and a handsome boyfriend.
(high school senior photo 1996)
And then 9 years later I found myself moving back to Lawrence, under similar circumstances. Meaning I came crying, leaving family, a.k.a. my husband, behind. He didn't kick me out either. I came voluntarily. Or as voluntarily as you can when the alternative is being homeless with three children on the beaches of California. (Minus the children that doesn't sound all that bad now).
Needless to say, the last four years have had their tough moments. Just to name a few:
- Living apart from Joel for a year, formally, but basically the last 4 years.
- Living with my in-laws for a year (Wonderful, kind, generous people -- but who really wants to move in with family when you are 30?)
- Being pregnant while living with in-laws. Nothing says irresponsible like getting pregnant with your fourth child while living in your in-law's basement.
- Starting graduate school a week after having that fourth child.
(I had a good, long cry the night I received my scholarship letter from KU. I had been talking with God about this grad school thing that I had started to apply for before I realized I was pregnant. It went like this: "Okay, I'll finish the application just in case this baby thing doesn't work out. But I won't go if it does." Then it was, "okay I'll go if I get in state tuition". Then it was, "okay I'll go if I get a scholarship too." That was when I realized that God really did want me to do this crazy thing. - Finishing graduate school a year later and then spending the next 2 years being a working, practically single, mother. (Thankfully in my own home).
- Breaking my collar bone twice and having two children with broken elbows.
- I learned about birth control. Just kidding. I really learned that sometimes God gives you things that you never knew you needed. Roman kept me grounded, focused on what was most important. He probably wouldn't be a part of our family still if we were better at the family planning thing. And we'd be missing out on so much. Besides having two boys 19 months apart is very entertaining, if you survive the first year.
- Narcotics are pretty amazing. Life is just easier to handle on drugs. And some of my friends say I am funnier when drugged. But it is totally not worth another broken collar bone.
- Everywhere I live I meet amazing people who change my life. I planned to come back to Lawrence for 3 months but stayed 4 years and made the most wonderful friends and renewed friendships with awesome people from my first time here. I feel very blessed.
- God has a plan for our family. I felt His hand in my life as I went through graduate school and as I attempted to parent our children alone. The last few years He has helped us get back on our feet, build Joel's career back up, and set our life in the direction we desire again. I am very hopeful. And hope is a beautiful thing.
This photo made reading this long post totally worth it, right?!?
